A man in a dark blue suit... with a red tie... stands beside me... a young lady wearing a pink overcoat with matching gloves is being gently pulled along as she walks a small, but energetic jack-russel terrier in desperate need of a haircut.. both the collar and leash are a vivid royal blue... the tags on the dog's collar make a light jingling noise as they gently clang against each other as the animal prances along with its owner... several cars quickly pass my face as i stand waiting... a black amg mercedes, two white trucks (one is a pickup with the tailgate let down- full of long silver metal pipes protruding from the rear)... there is a delicate hint of cinnamon in the chilly air coming from a nearby bakery.. the white "walk" sign is now lit and both i and the man in the blue suit begin to cross the street... i take my first step into the street- just as my foot meets the cold black asphalt of the road- there is a pain within my chest... i collapse, and am unable to move or speak. There are phones ringing, cars have stopped, people are yelling, sirens are heard off in the distance, lights flash, wheels screech...
I am alone. in the dark of the night. a rice patty field, wet with yesterdays rain... the marshy ground surrounds me. my bare feet enjoy the feel of the cold wet ground. there is a pen of bulls to my right, gently rustling through the tall grass on the edge of the fields. far off in the distance there is a group of shadows moving in unison. it is a pack of wild dogs. they move quickly. all around me crickets rub their legs together singing their songs to their beloveds. a black string suddenly stands upright... its hood flared- revealing the normally hidden gleaming white dots that now shine bright in the moon's light. i hear a staggered collection of howls from ahead of me... one dog, then two, then three... i am no longer still... they notice i have upset him... i have upset nature.. and must pay. with a single strike, that could be missed with a blink... i am now on the ground... convulsing. the cobra watches for a moment, and then slithers away. no phones ring, no sirens sound, no one screams... i am alone.
Although neither one of these instances actually occurred- though my circumstances were very similar to the second example in real life at one point. i felt these two scenarios would be a good example to explain how loneliness can feel. in the second instance, during a period such as this, an individual can realize how very miniscule he is in comparison to the natural world- how unimportant his existence may actually be. As odd as it may sound, I
felt a comfort is realizing my unimportance. The concept of death is included to work as a
catalyst in coming to this realization- in retrospect, i was able to more comprehend what i had felt that instant through relating it to a deadly situation. For example, if I had died that very instant,
not a thing in the natural world would pause to take notice. Perhaps a wild dog may come to sniff the former me, and then calmly walk away with a natural indifference. But in the end, the world would continue to spin,
grass would continue to grow, the crickets would continue to sing, and the next day... the sun
would continue to shine- and that brought a sense of calm that is difficult to explain.
